When I look back on this past year, I can’t help but feel some disappointment that I haven’t accomplished or stuck with my goals. I’m still here, unhappy with my body, and I could have been a size 2 by now. Obviously, that’s not the case. However, now, more than ever I am wanting to make some changes.
For sure these changes include actually following through on what I say I’m going to do, but I think one of the biggest changes is that I’m going to be shifting the focus of my blog slightly. I initially wanted Becoming the Crown to be more of a chronicle of what it’s like to be an overweight former crown chaser. But, that’s not who I am.
Yes, I love pageants. There was a point in my life where they were a big part of what made me tick. I competed. I watched. I critiqued, and I coached. But you know what I realized as I got older? Pageants aren’t life. It’s hard to forget that when you’re in the midst of it, but the reality of the situation is no one really cares whether you have crowns on your shelf or not. As hard as it can be for a recovering pageant queen to hear, it doesn’t mean a damn.
I have reached a point where I want this blog to be more about me. I don’t want to not post because I have nothing to say about pageants. I don’t want to not post because I feel bad about what I’ve ate. I don’t want to only post when thing are going well, because they’re not and quite frankly I need to be able to vent. And, when the time is right, celebrate.
So while the premise of this blog was to document my “comeback,” the reality is it’s not coming any time soon, if ever, and I’m ready to just be me and talk about my life and appreciate it for what it is.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, you’re probably wondering? Who am I?
Let me tell you the basics:
• Next month, most likely while highly intoxicated, I will turn 27. I remain terrified by this fact.
• I’ve been married to Mr. Beauty Queen for over five years. To say it’s been an adventure would be an understatement.
• I’m hoping I get knocked up before I’m eligible for an AARP card
• I work in public relations and I adore it. The plan is to have my own agency at some point, but that is not going to happen for at least 5-10 years. In the meantime, I am obsessed with watching Mad Men, The Spin Crowd and Twitter.
• I drink coffee like it’s going out of style until 5:01 p.m. Then I switch to Pinot Gregio.
• The Mister and I live in Albuquerque. It’s okay if you like meth. I, of course, do not, (though I’d probably be thinner if I did…) and would prefer Santa Fe if there was any remote possibility of obtaining millions of dollars any time soon.
• I’m the breadwinner of our “family,” while my husband starts his real estate business. I’m doing everything I can to be supportive, and know he’s going to tear it up, but everyone who has ever been involved with a start-up can imagine how incredibly stressful this is. Most days I want to start a support group for people who are supporting spouses during these “economic times” so we can all proof-read each others’ suicide notes over brownies on a Saturday morning. However, I must persevere.
• I love ballet. I’ve missed it.
As far as my name goes, you might be wondering who I am. Especially if you’re a pageant person because the community is so small – though, really, a lot of people have figured it out. Anyway, the deal is, for blogging purposes, at least for this blog, I am not going to mention it on here. You may think that’s because I have overinflated my self-worth, but, the reality is, I’m pretty active in my profession and the community and I would rather not have this come up in a Google search of my name.
However, if you want to know, you can Facebook me and I’ll reveal myself. Yes. Intriguing. I know.
Anyway, that’s the scoop for now. I hope everyone's doing well, and understands my decision to make the blog a little more general. I hope it will be more of a compelling read.
