The Horror!

My husband and I are leaving tomorrow to head back east for the holidays. I’m thrilled.

Okay, not really.

For one, and for a lack of a better term, it is going to be FREEZING BALLS. This, in itself, is annoying. However, I was even more annoyed when I realized – during packing – that my fabulous pea coat no longer fits. Of course I came to this conclusion while I was, literally, shoving Christmas fudge into my mouth. Go figure. So now, I am at the point where I have to make a decision in the next few hours as to whether I am going to need to purchase a giant parka.

I am torn.

On one hand, I don’t want to be wandering around Western Pennsylvania with frost-bite. On the other hand, in the southwest we really have no need whatsoever for parkas. So aside from this next week, it would really be a waste of money. Unless hell freezes over, and then it just helps to be prepared. But see, if I DO buy a parka, I really don’t want to buy a plus-sized one. Because hopefully, the next time I have to wear it (if ever), I will be thinner. Then again, parkas are always really huge anyway. I don’t know.

Can you sympathize with my frustration?

Of course not. Because I sound like a whiney little b*atch who can’t put down the treats long enough to fit in a jog. I don’t blame you. It’s easy to lose weight. It really is. The hard part, is the discipline to do it. When I am doing everything right, I get results. And quickly. I am blessed in that respect.

So then why do I sit here, complaining, but refusing to take action? I have no flippin’ clue.

Hopefully over the next few weeks I can figure out just what the heck my problem is, and find my motivation again. I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I am thinking that it might encourage me to make some changes.

We’ll see.

In the meantime, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!




P.S. I really do want world peace.

So mad at myself!

I have royally effed myself.





Now, before you jump to conclusions, I will have you know that these were not for me. Not all of them at least.

Here’s the scoop: our public relations firm was recently hired to coordinate the media outreach for the opening of a brand new Krispy Kreme store here in town. So for weeks, we have had doughnuts around the office. I originally did not plan on having a single one, but if you’ve ever had a Krispy Kreme doughnut, I don’t have to tell you that my plan went to hell. A very generous Krispy Kreme owner who insisted on sending PR practitioners home with boxes of goodies every day, didn’t help.

Neither did my lack of planning. With a lack of time lately, I have not had time to go grocery shopping, or cook. Nor do I have room to store healthy food currently since I have not yet tossed the Thanksgiving leftovers (gross – I know). And if I don’t have time to shop, it pretty much goes without saying that I haven’t had time to exercise later. So, this weekend all we had around the house in terms of food was, literally, frozen pizza and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Naturally, I consumed an astonishing amount of doughnuts – most filled with cream.

Well, after weeks of planning and media events, yesterday was finally the big grand opening. Thank God. But, this was not before I had to load my car up with 100 dozen original glazed doughnuts and venture through a blizzard at 3:30 a.m. delivering these coronary blockages to media outlets throughout town. During this process the conditions became so bad that I had to return to the office rather than Krispy Kreme until it was safe to head back out. Since I hadn’t eaten anything it was hard not to have doughnuts for breakfast. And since I had no idea how long I was going to be trapped in the storm, I thought I’d just go ahead and start preparing for hibernation if it became absolutely necessary.

Today, I am at the point where if I see another doughnut, I am going to throw-up. I now need to do a massive detoxification of some sort (if you have any suggestions) and get back on the bandwagon. Of course, the other challenge facing me this week is finals. And nothing calls for carb-loading more than cramming for tests. So I am trying to resist that temptation.

I don’t plan to weigh myself for quite a while, though I suck at that and always do it anyway. I do feel, however, that this little situation has really encouraged me to stay focused through the rest of the holidays. I officially feel like crap, physically and emotionally, and am reminded as to why I started this whole process in the first place.

And that is the story of this week’s Krispy Kreme debacle.




P.S. I really do want world peace.

Thanksgiving Leftovers

I have been a very, very bad girl.

Thanksgiving was interesting. My family came in to visit, which was great. But when my mom, mother-in-law and I arrived at Costco last Tuesday night, I knew I was going to be screwed. It started innocently enough, with a shrimp tray. The whole fiasco lasted for over 2 hours and finally concluded with adding four pounds of unsalted butter to the cart.

Wednesday was a nightmare because I lunched with one of my favorite people in the world – my best friend who lives in Dallas – had arrived to spend the holiday with his family. Despite the fact that he is in awesome shape, insisted (okay, actually, he agreed with me) that we indulge in Italian food. And, because we’re food whores, Italian dessert. Whatever, chocolate mousse is just flavored air anyway.

I returned home Wednesday afternoon to take a nap to recover from my fattening Italian feast and was pleasantly awoken in the early evening by Mr. Beauty Queen who informed me that his mom had made cream puffs and no-bakes! I dodged out of bed and sprinted downstairs (which burned at least 5 calories, right?!) to partake in the treats. It was divine.

Thursday was the big feast, and I think that I got exercising preparing the flipping thing. While my mom and my husband’s mom helped, we cooked for hours and hours and prepared everything from the turkey and a ham (since Mr. Beauty Queen HATES turkey on Thanksgiving) to stuffing and green bean casserole (along with like 300 other side dishes) and several pies. I topped the whole thing off with about – umm, I estimate 7 glasses (maybe?) of champagne. It was fun.

As hellish as the Thanksgiving ordeal was, I did stick to only one plate… which was exciting. And a first for any holiday. But I really was exhausted after spending all that time preparing dinner, and my table which was SO gorgeous!

The next day I took the moms out for English tea which consisted of several pots of tea as well as a cornucopia of savories, breads and treats. Of course I forgot my Splenda, so I, unfortunately, had to use ACTUAL sugar to sweeten the 30 cups of tea I had. I practically had to be rolled out of the tea room. It was not fun.

Anyway, the last few days have been spent eating the leftovers. I am finally getting rid of everything this weekend so that I can make room for healthy foods again in the fridge.

I originally was not going to weigh myself this week, but I did and I didn’t gain as much weight as I thought I did, which is great, but I’ve gained about a pound and a half. I’m still better than when I started this process, so I really need to stop beating myself up.

You’ll be glad to know that my family didn’t react at all to my weight – I was so thrilled with that. And as far as the pageant I judged this past weekend, it went great. I really enjoyed myself. In addition to learning to watch what I am putting in my body, I’m trying to learn to be more kind to it with my thoughts. I don’t want to be accommodating of obesity or an unhealthy lifestyle at all, but I do want to learn to be confident in any situation and remember more often to give myself credit for just trying to be the best I can be.

Anyway, as I mentioned before, I am working with April Showers Blog Design for my Christmas cards and I am hoping to be working with her soon to fix the design here within the next few weeks. My goal is to have my little corner of the world be a little more visual appealing. So anyway, in case you’re needing graphic design help as well, you’ll be happy to know that April Showers Blog Design is having a HUGE giveaway and celebrating her OPEN waiting list that starts January 1st! April not only does blogs – but also invitations, announcements, calendars, cards, business cards, custom illustrations and so much more! Just by pasting this paragraph on my blog I’m a winner!

Anyway, check her out at www.aprilshowersblogdesign.com.

So for now I’m off to get rid of these “leftovers” on my thighs. How I’ve missed Debbie! Okay, I’m a liar. But time to burn!




P.S. I really do want world peace.

A Quick Update...

I am very excited to say that this “journey” keeps going well. This is shocking, but I am actually losing a fair amount of weight – and inches! I am now only 9 pounds over weight and 9 pounds away from my first goal. I have also lost about an inch and a half off my hips and another inch and a half off my waist. This is very exciting!My clothes are practically falling off me. Of course, they’re rather large sizes, but I’ll take it.

I have had to give up on Slim in 6 for the time being. While I was getting great results, it was really killing my knees. I mean, lugging all of “this” around all day is enough strain for my joints, but Slim in 6 was painful. I joked on Twitter that it equates to 6 weeks of feeling like you need a hip replacement. That said, I have started spending more time on our family’s elliptical machine. It’s a lot easier on the knees, and I can watch more entertaining things on television than Debbie and her motivational “counting.” I’ll give it another go though in a few days.

In other news, Starbucks has unleashed a new weapon – the caramel brulee latte. I gave it a whirl the other day because I had to – though I did limit myself to a tall. Anywho, it was phenomenal. And very bad for you. Still, I am not addicted to them. It’s fabulous. I think this healthy thinking is starting to really become more of a habit and I’m more focused on my goals so I’m making better choices. I’m quite pleased with the results.

On the pageant front, I’m judging next weekend, and that should bring a whole new level of motivation. There’s nothing like being introduced as a former titleholder, standing up to wave and hearing a collective gasp from the audience. Although, I don’t think things will go like that, I’m still dreading it. And standing next to a thin and in shape contestant – assuming that’s what wins – for photos after crowning will be lots of fun.

Speaking of photos, I’m completely avoiding them at the moment. And actually, for Christmas cards this year, I’m doing an illustration of our family instead. I think that it will be way adorable, and any day where I only have one chin – even as a cartoon – is a good day. Anyway, I am going to use April Showers Blog Design for the cards. I’m also hoping that the first of the year, I can hire her to do something with “this.” This blog is atrocious and I have no idea how to fix it. So I’m hoping she can help. You can check her out at www.aprilshowersblogdesign.com.




P.S. I really do want world peace.

Boo. Yah.

An amazing thing has happened. Since starting this “journey,” I have lost 5 pounds! Wahoo! Now, I know that I still have a long way to go, but this little victory warrants celebration.

Over this past week, I have been a very good girl. I have only had two – that’s right, TWO – nonfat, no whip gingerbread lattes this week. I have also pretty much avoided my holiday coffee creamers, I just have no desire to try them as much as I thought I would. Still, I’m pretty sure everyone else in the office is enjoying them.

I have also been trying to keep my sweet tooth satisfied by making healthier treats. This past weekend I made low-fat vanilla cupcakes and they turned out great! They mostly consist of zucchini and egg whites, along with a little bit of sugar and vanilla of course, but they were surprisingly delightful and very filling. It was probably the highlight of my week.

The low-point of the week came yesterday, when I decided to order off of a “light” menu when the team went out for lunch yesterday. I was stunned at just how small that piece of salmon really was. But it actually was pretty filling, and I enjoyed the rest of my day.

Slim in 6 is going well. I’m still on the first phase – but it’s getting better and my technique is improving. I’m already starting to build up my strength in terms of pushups, which rocks.

Anyway, I’m sorry this blog isn’t extremely exciting, but I just wanted to drop in and share that I’m making progress. It’s a great feeling and I’m more hopeful that I will be a hot and healthy in no time. Or, at least a few months.




P.S. I really do want world peace.

'Tis the Season!

Wow, it has been over a week since my last post. Where does the time go? My apologies.

Ah, heck. It’s not like anyone is actually reading this damn thing anyway…

The last week has been pure cane sugar hell. Obviously, getting through Halloween was enough of a battle. After purchasing tons of candy – in bulk – Mr. Beauty Queen and I decided to forego handing it out due to H1N1. I know. We’re extremely lame. But I had to deal with a bunch of candy laying around. After consuming a ton of it, I finally brought the remainder into the office. Of course, now I’m tempted to indulge around 3 p.m. daily, but I’ve been doing better of avoiding it than expected.

Of course, now that Halloween has passed, there are new challenges that have arrived as the holidays approach. Probably the most exciting news is the arrival of Red Cup season at Starbucks. A sucker for the gingerbread latte, I have not been strong enough to pass on these delightful holiday treats. Still, I have managed to cut the normal quantity (5-ish a week in past years) down (only 2 this week). I am also
ordering these little devils with sugar-free syrup, nonfat milk, and holding on the whip. I feel like this minor improvement would be enhanced if I could get myself to switch from grande beverages to tall ones, but I’m just not there yet. Tall cups, as an accessory, just look, well… odd.







Another product that has recently made its way into my life for a limited time only is gingerbread and peppermint mocha Coffee-Mate. Yes. Again, can’t resist them. Unfortunately, these little buggers do not come in a less fattening option, so I am trying to restrict my intake. And actually, today I just had no desire to add any coffee to my gingerbread Coffee-Mate. Instead, I opted to add coffee to my sugar-free Coffee-Mate. I was shocked.







On the workout front, this is where I have really screwed myself this week. I have not exercised (aside from walking around Target and Lowe’s) since Day 2 of Slim in Six. I am such a tool. My life is insanely busy with work, and since I haven’t mentioned it before – graduate school. So finding time to work out is a pain in the first place. This has been complicated by the time change which now is even more discouraging in the evenings. It has occurred to me that if I want to make this work, I will probably need to exercise in the morning. So… I’m trying to figure that part out.

Needless to say, my size has considerably suffered as a result of the past week’s activities. I have to get back on track. My mother, and mother-in-law are both coming into town for Thanksgiving. I need to focus on losing as much weight as possible before they arrive. I am sure the looks on their faces when they see me will be awful, so I am trying to minimize the humiliation as much as possible. Don’t know, realistically, how much progress I’ll make, however.

I did, however, want to say that the low-fat cooking has gone well. Cook Yourself Thin is awesome and I’m loving it. I made the chicken parmesan and “zucchini pasta” the other night and it was quite delish. And filling too. Of course, Mr. Beauty Queen adored it. So, yay!




P.S. I really do want world peace.

The First, Er, 16 - Day 2

Yesterday I completed day 2 of Slim in 6… which means I’m 1/18 of the way done! Yay! Actually, the fact that I have 17/18 to go kind of sucks, as Slim in 6 is insanely boring. The good news is it wasn’t nearly as difficult last night as it was the first day. However, the scale has not moved down. I know technically you’re not supposed to weigh yourself every day, but I can’t help it. I should probably talk to someone about that. Still, I should probably pick one day a week to “weigh in” as part of this journey. I think Monday’s will be fine enough for that. As for my clever name of The First 13, it will now be The First 16. I should have weighed myself over the weekend. Not only would I have had a more accurate number, but I may have been more inclined to curb the pumpkin spice latte intake over the weekend.

Anywho, last night I am pleased to report that I made a super meal. For the record, it did – in fact – contain meat. I made turkey burgers with diced green chiles (topped with avocado, low-fat pepper jack cheese, and onions) and sweet potato fries that were AWESOME. These recipes were from Cook Yourself Thin which has redeemed itself at our house.

Not only was my husband very happy about the meat, but he loved the sweet potato fries. This was a shock because when he originally walked into the kitchen, the excitement of meat was overshadowed by the intense hatred for sweet potatoes.

“You know I don’t like sweet potatoes,” he said.

No, I didn’t, but okay…

“They’re yummy and good for you so try it and if you don’t like it I’ll make you some frozen ones,” I said.

Guess who finished off the sweet potato fries and asked for more?

Yes. It was shocking and it made me feel good about myself. I may be a fat ass, but there are few things that bring me more satisfaction than my husband asking to have more of whatever it was that I made.

Win!

Also last night I was able to leaf through my latest issue of Savvy magazine. If you’ve never seen it, I highly suggest picking it up. It’s a fashion magazine that has a pageant twist ant it’s phenomenal. Anyway, there were some great new dress designs from Sherri Hill. And not like any serious pageant contestant would ever buy off the rack (go custom or go home), but some of them really got my pulse racing.

You see exactly what I'm talking about at www.sherrihill.com.




P.S. I really do want world peace.

The First 13 – Day 1

I actually started “the plan” today. It went well enough, but I think the first day of anything (school, work, etc.) is challenging. I actually ate pretty healthy today, and throughout the day. I also only indulged in a single cup of coffee this morning. I usually drink several cups, usually with an obscene amount of Coffee-Mate. I actually think Coffee-Mate is part of the reason as to why I’m fat, so I have recently started drinking fat-free and/or sugar free Coffee-Mate. It doesn’t taste nearly as good (which could explain why I only had one cup this morning) and I really don’t know if fat-free or sugar-free Coffee-Mate helps anything in the first place. But what the heck ever, I’m not perfect.

For dinner tonight, I picked my first recipe from Cook Yourself Thin. I made the Eggplant Stacks – which is basically a lasagna made with eggplants rather than noodles. Unfortunately, after assembling the masterpiece, it looked better than it tasted – though I do pride myself on presentation. Still, Mr. Beauty Queen was not thrilled with tonight’s entrée, and suggested that in order for this to work, dinners must include meat. The good news is menus for the rest of the week do include meat. So go meat!

Today was also the first day of Slim in 6. I made it through the whole workout, which was about 25 minutes today, but it was actually pretty challenging. I don’t know if it was because I am so out of shape, or it’s just a more difficult program (because it is, after all, supposed to reshape your body in 36 workouts), but it kicked my butt. It wasn’t nearly as bad as P90X, but it’s going to hurt tomorrow. I do think that I can stick with it though.

I think for the first day, I did better than I thought I would do, but unlike so many things in life, the first step on any “journey of healthy living,” is easier than the 2nd, 3rd, 15th and 90th. I’ve always been someone who can jump on the bandwagon easily, but I tend to fall off just as easy. Hopefully I can do this.

In other news, talk of our state’s preliminary to Mrs. America is starting up on the Voy boards. Voy boards are these insane forums where people bitch, I mean, talk, about every single pageant under the sun. It’s hard to sit back and watch other people get excited about going after your dream. I do want to compete again, very, very badly, but I’m not sure as to why. Nor am I positive that I could get ready in time - state would be next summer. I really want to make sure that I do this for the right reasons, and not just for a pageant, but it is still hard. I know that out of all the married women in my state, I could guarantee that I want the crown the most, but we’ll have to see as to when or if there will ever be a time for it.

But clearly, I have other things to focus on right now.




P.S. I really do want world peace.

The Plan

Now that I have committed myself to becoming the crown, I think the first thing I need to do is have some goals. While the overall goal is to look like a beauty queen, I am not really sure how I am going to measure that. That said, I am going to have several mini-goals which are measureable and more motivating. I think that a lot of really small “wins” is more motivating than one big one. I do not want to overwhelm myself nor do I wish to have another melt-down (as was described in my last post) any time soon.

All and all, I have about 50 lbs. that I would like to lose over the course of this “journey.” But I’ll be in decent enough shape to stand on a stage (if I was paid a million dollars) and look good naked after 35 lbs. However, the first goal, is healthy BMI range for my height, which requires losing about 13 pounds. Once I’m no longer considered “overweight,” I think I’ll be fairly happy, inspired to continue, and have developed some healthy habits.

Now to accomplish the goal of losing what I will now call “The First 13,” I will be using a few different tools:

Slim in 6
I will admit that I am addicted to infomercials. I proudly own several Snuggies, the complete Wen Hair Care System and a bunch of unused containers of Sheer Cover under my bathroom sink. So, naturally, when I saw the Slim in 6 infomercial, I was hooked. I originally ordered P90X, but I found that to be one hell of a de-motivating ass-kicking in a box, so I thought that Slim in 6 would be a better way to start this journey. Although I hear it’s quite a time commitment, you get results fast. So, I am starting tomorrow. Seriously.






Healthy Cookbooks
I love, love, LOVE cooking! I haven’t always, but I have recently become kind of a domestic culinary force. While I have a desire to attempt every dish from every single episode of “Everyday Italian,” I am going to have to trade in Giada’s cookbooks for some healthy ones for a while. Since I have no desire to spend the next few months grilling chicken breasts on the George Foreman and eating carrots, I needed some help in finding inspiration for healthy and yummy dishes. So these are what I picked up:
















Yes. In case you’re wondering, I fully intend on sharing how it all tastes.

And there is one other rule that is part of the plan: everything in moderation! This is a journey of healthy living. It’s not a crash diet. Therefore, I don’t intend on depriving myself. Especially since the holidays are around the corner. Rather, I want to focus on making healthier choices that will become habits that last the rest of my life.

Okay, so that’s the scoop. The only thing I haven’t yet figured out is what I will use to reward myself for accomplishing all this. I have a few ideas, but I need non-food suggestions. What works for you?

Let me know!




P.S. I really do want world peace.

What the hell?

Have you ever got up in the morning, looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, “what the hell happened to my life?”

I recently had such a come-to-Jesus moment.

It took place on a Wednesday evening, in the dressing room of a department store – the scene of crime for many nervous breakdowns nationwide – the night before a rather large and important event that warranted something stellar. I had seen a rather cute dress on the store’s Web site, and insisted on adding it to my collection. So I found it on the rack, and grabbed a few sizes, including one that looked like a burlap tent, and headed into the dressing room confident that one of them would work – or, if it came down to it, the damn tent.

After trying all of them, I finally arrived at the “tent,” and couldn’t zip it up.

I consider it a blessing that my patient husband – waiting outside the dressing room – had driven that night and was the one with the keys. At that moment, I can honestly say that had a sharp object been in reach, I probably would have sawed it into my wrists and bled to death right there inside Dillard’s.

A few short years ago, I was a size 2 at Cache (which, by all other standards, is itty-bitty) and a Miss Teen state titleholder for a rather large pageant system. So how did I go from representing my state in a national pageant to a suicidal moment in a dressing room?

Like so many other people, I got married, graduated college where I walked 4 miles a day around campus, and started a career where I sit at a desk for hours and hours a day only to go home exhausted and burnt out. Said burnout, along with some domestic skills in desperate need of sharpening, is usually the reason for take-out every night. Over the past 3 years this series of unhealthy habits has led to a ridiculous lifestyle. So not only am I not insanely hot any more, I’m not in shape, fit or remotely healthy either. And it’s depressing when you think about who you were and the person you want to be. It seems so overwhelming and out of reach.

So I have decided that I am going to transform myself back into a beauty queen over the coming months, and I am going to chronicle this transformation here. Whether I ever compete in a pageant again remains to be seen, but I do know that I will personally benefit from a healthier lifestyle and condition.

While I don’t intend to be too specific about my weight in terms of pounds at this stage, you are probably wondering what size the “tent” was. Since sizes are pretty arbitrary from designer to designer, I will share that the dress that caused the meltdown was a size 14. I realize to a lot of people out there, that may be laughable, but I think that every woman, regardless of size, struggles with her appearance, and whether you have 5 pounds to lose or 100, each step is a challenge.

To be clear, I really don’t have a desire to be a size 2 again. But I do want to be healthy and feel good about myself. So I hope you follow me on this journey. I hope you can inspire me and I can inspire you as I find a way to once again “be the crown.”




P.S. I really do want world peace.